Effective ways of influencing others
Who says meeting are hard work – especially getting an agreement to your proposal?
The hard work to achieve the right outcome happens well before a meeting, and not during it.
Your job is to create the influence you need, the advocates you require, ahead of the meeting starting, and not during it.
Before the meeting
Making individuals feel valued by sharing your proposal personally with them in advance of the meeting. This will help ensure a sympathetic hearing for your suggestion. It’s also a good filter for your ideas, to test the water and see whether they will float! It also enables you to fine tune your suggestion, and is great practice for your ‘pitch’, having to run through it to others ahead of the meeting.
When you want to win someone over with an idea, remember to offer a number of benefits it offers. They may not see the advantage of some of them, but they may be very keen in achieving at least one of the others, and be happier to back you.
During the meeting, those who are unsure about whether to agree to your suggestion will often look around the room for the reaction and response of others, for fear of being out of step with the consensus of opinion. When these individuals see there are advocates in the room for the proposal, they too will feel more comfortable in agreeing to it!
Try and avoid asking for a straight yes or no – as it is all too easy for the ‘yes’ to be deferred or refused. Instead look for degrees of adoption, where you make progress, and feel that you can always revisit the subject for further approval at a later date – often once the momentum has been created, and the principal has been ratified by the initial partial decision. So go with options for agreement, and be prepared to meet part way. Any gain is a gain!
The day of the meeting
When you finally attend the meeting, with all the groundwork prepared, consider these thoughts.
If you want to present to the Chair, or key person in the meeting, try to position yourself opposite them at the table. This way you can engage them directly and naturally, with plenty of eye contact – it’s much harder trying to speak towards them when you are both on the same side of the table, separated by a number of other individuals.
If you wish to align yourself with the Chair (maybe you already have him on board with your idea) try to sit next to him. It’s a great way of showing your allegiance, and support.
Sitting at the ‘head’ of the table can set you aside from the others, whilst sitting in the middle of one side is more inclusive, placing yourself in closer proximity to everyone.
People who speak first, or hold attention by speaking with authority, or for a significant period of time do set the scene for the resulting discussion, and ultimately any decisions. Ensure you speak simply and clearly, setting out the advantages. Don’t appear too keen to press for an outcome. Be relaxed and confident, and your confidence will be shared by those supporting your proposal.
I have found that a passive, objective style of setting out your proposal works best. Your intention should be for those in the room to adopt your plans as their plans, and for them to ‘own’ the proposal as much as you do!
Be clear about what your proposal will entail. Paint a picture of what you are aiming to achieve. Be upbeat about the benefits, but recognise the cost and the steps required to implicate it. Recognise the risks as part of your presentation, before others throw in the risks for you, which they will! It is always better to be objective, and realistic about the potential opportunities and setbacks.
Try to understand what your audience will be thinking. Some will be wondering where you are going with your proposal… whilst others will be concerned that you are making work for them! Clarity and simplicity are key reassurances for everyone.
Smile, engage, sell – and hopefully come away with the decision you want, supported by your allies in the room you brought on board before the meeting even started!
